Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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