i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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