Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
