as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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