and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
