Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
