if i can run in heels then i can drive
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
