do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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