I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Randomize
