Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't turn off my feet"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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