so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
