Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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