She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
