just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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