scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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