Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
