Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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