Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
