I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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