dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
