The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
