I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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