Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
