Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The air was thick with penises
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
