Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My ass is underappreciated
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
