I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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