She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
