I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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