Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Life is so much better after having sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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