Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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