The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
