It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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