Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it hurts more in the daytime
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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