Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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