im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
