Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
