i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
