Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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