it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
