i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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