i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
