I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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