he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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