my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
