I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
