Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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