i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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