beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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