Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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