We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Bay diarrhea
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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