just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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